I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
