Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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