I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize