I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
