so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
