She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
