D3 body, D1 cock
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
