I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize