I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
