He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
NoShamevember. You game?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
