It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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