haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
