dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
