He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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