final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
