So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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