I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
we should paint friendship bongs
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