I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
More tranny stories later!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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