Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
