nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
