i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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