So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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