doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize