dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
