these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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