for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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