I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize
