He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
