i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize