No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
