Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
