where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
