i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
