You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
