So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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