So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
