Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Randomize
