I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize