I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
