I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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