It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
