no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize