I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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