She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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