..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
