Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
