By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
