what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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