Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
