i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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