its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
A bitchslap is in order.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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