She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize