Plan B is the new Plan A
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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