i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
