haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
