I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
