I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
