Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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