You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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