i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
