Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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