I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
