Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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