But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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