I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
