I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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