And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
