doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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