If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
