I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
