Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
COCAINE IS GR8
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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