Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
