The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Sorry my hands just texted you
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
