You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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