Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
