i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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