im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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