she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
