never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
