i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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