At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
