you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize