I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
